At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
