Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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