This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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