Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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