We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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