kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Randomize
