if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
