The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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