I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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