lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
