Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
