we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize