You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
