All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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