Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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