so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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