it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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