im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
