hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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