I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
