i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
