i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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