paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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