soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
