he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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