hotel room ftw
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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