mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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