We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
