apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
