Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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