I'm lost and stupid without you.
She's JV to your varsity
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
