I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
