party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
