im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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