so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
