Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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