Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
