i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
