his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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