OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
