I wish they made helmets for livers.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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