You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
