i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
someone owes me an orgasm
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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