Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i think my mom watched the whole time
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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