Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
