I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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