I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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