the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
