there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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