the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
